I have become that person.

The one that gets up in the morning despising their job and doing absolutely nothing about it. That human that has given up on a system that is so far out of whack with any reality that trying or caring only makes things worse.

I never thought I would be that person. I always put forth and tried my best at things. When did I give up? Years of effort that ended up getting me further in a loop of frustration. Now I have a mortgage and daughter that all needs my single income.

Where does that leave my ethical being? In the gutter. Where one can feel they are doing less than they should. To go in and not give a shit is actually harder than caring. But in the end it is time to do so. It has been made abundantly clear where the priorities are and I am certainly nowhere on that list.

Caring only create havoc within myself that the product is less than it should be. However it seems people are happy enough with mediocre and time for me to accept that. Perhaps once life settles down in other tracks one can evaluate this one and possibly seek another field. But for the foreseeable future I will be just one of those negative people.

Perhaps the glass is half empty.

Peace.