Cookie day. Why do I bother is what I wonder sometimes. I make cookies every holiday, but why is what one should ask? I sure as hell don't need them. Some piece of me perhaps feels like the holidays are a little less desolote with some tradition in them. But in the end does actually work? Who knows. I no longer have family here beyond a 7 year old and ex-inlaws that sometimes is double edge knife.

One way or another I live alone half the time. And when not alone a small child spends time with me where I do my best not to let my despair float over her as well. I know with not a lot of success all the time, hence more to feel bad for and yet my ass continues on the path.

So today I will continue to make cookies. I use to mail them all over the place but even that I have given up on. Perhaps that will give me the guilt to sit down and fill out my Christmas cards, then again maybe not.

Back to the oven. Peace.